Who ever coined the term “the more the merrier” was truly not thinking of this! What are they talking about when saying “mi casa es su casa”? Why do homebuyers often look for houses with that one extra bedroom?

Over the years, there has been a trend to identify each generation. We’ve all heard of the Baby Boomers. And Generation X. these were followed by the Millenials, Generation Z (Gen Z) and most recently Gen Alpha. The interactions experienced between all these generations can be challenging to say the least. But what happens when you are caught somewhere in the middle of all these people at once? As it may sound, you may find yourself, as we do, “sandwiched” between multiple generations, all living in the same house, and being responsible for all. This condition is known as the Sandwich Generation.

Overall, the instances of working-aged adults raising children as well as caring for older parents has increased significantly. The US Census estimates that 17.8% of adults, 25-34, live with their parents. Additionally, as our senior population grows, so does the number of households caring for them. In 2018, over 10% of Americans (PEW Research) were raising children under 18 as well as caring for older parents.

While the situation may not seem novel, current societal conditions bring some challenges to the sandwich generation. Past generations often had single-earner households with one parent staying home and providing the necessary care for children and older parents. Today we more commonly see both working-age adults working outside the home or single parent households. As a result, an increased amount of stress is felt by the working adult(s).

This stress we feel when living within the sandwich generation is also multi-faceted. Firstly, is the financial impact. If seniors are relying solely on Social Security for income, this limits their ability to contribute to the aggregate household expenses. The resulting financial burden of care lands squarely on the shoulders of the working-age caregivers.

Secondly feelings of guilt and doubt about providing adequate care for everyone in the household can cause significant stress on the caregivers. Many times the caregivers sacrifice their own need for “care” to provide for the children and aging parents, thus adding even more stress.

The impact of all this stress on caregivers is measurable. Lack of sleep is most notable. Poor eating habits are another common occurrence. Providing a healthy dinner each evening may be the only substantial meal of the day for caregivers. Finally, as the day comes to a close, after meeting the needs for both children and older adults, the caregiver collapses in near exhaustion in an attempt to get a few hours of sleep. All the while, knowing that as the new day dawns, the routine begins anew.

Why do we do this?

LOVE. We love our children. We love our parents. We love our family. The needs are obvious, so we do our best to meet those needs. Not just for one, but for all. As caregivers, we have to know our limits although we often walk that fine line between “just enough” and “too much”.